Monday, May 9, 2011

Snakes and other gross things

I'm willing to admit we live in a world that contains snakes. I even pretend I'm not totally terrified of them when they are in pictures in books or on the t.v. Let me tell you however, that when I actually see them in real life-in my neighborhood-NEXT TO MY HOUSE-I'm not so cool with that. Such was the case on Sunday when I suggested we take our two crazy pups and our four slightly less crazy children on a little stoll down the block. Our dogs haven't been on a walk before, so I thought this would be good practice. First off Lucy bolts out the door of the garage super-excited to go on a walk. Laynie doesn't make it past the steps because she thinks we are taking a car ride. She is apparently not fond of the car. We are on our little stroll with the same theme of Lucy running this way and that-smelling everything, running in circles getting the kids caught up in her leash and Laynie is sitting in the middle of the road refusing to walk. Fun times.
My neighbor drives by and casually tells us she has just run over (with her car) a rattlesnake across the street from my house. Neat! Good old Zeb gets in our car and re-runs the snake over to make sure it is dead. I later ran in over in my car just for good measure. So that was our exciting trip outside. Once we get inside we decide to go downstairs and play. In the process Blakeleigh wants to take her diaper off and pee-pee in the potty. Don't get excited yet mom-we are nowhere near potty trained (mainly because I don't want to deal with it). The little munchkin continues to walk around half clothed, no diaper while we are reading some stories in Brenton's room. All of a sudden, Zeb looks at me and says "don't move...". Keep in mind we used to have a major scorpion problem in our old house and have now seen two rattlesnakes near our house. I don't know WHAT I thought was behind me, but I'm pretty sure I shoved both Brenton and Blakeleigh out of the way to climb onto the bunk bed. Zeb starts laughing and I turn around to see what I risked my children's life in lieu of my own safety for. Apparently a pile of little girl pee and a large poop was the culprit. Good to know that in an emergency, apparently I am NOT the person you want to be with!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dogs on a Diet

Well let me tell you...I bet our community veterinarian wishes we would find another community. When her (very nice and friendly by the way) office staff sees 2 adults, 4 small children and 2 puppies who don't want to stay on their leashes come into the office...I'm not exactly sure what they are thinking. Maybe something like, "why does the whole stinkin family have to come EVERY time" or "you'd think they would train those dogs to sit still"(which they have been taught to do-apparently it just works in the living room) or maybe, "don't their dogs know they need to pee outside?".
Well last Saturday, the whole Delp crew barged into the vets office. I went in first with Laynie (our lab), followed by Brenton and Caiden. Out the window I see poor Zeb trying to get Cooper and Blakeleigh out of the car followed by Lucy (our golden) on her leash. Lucy does not want to go inside and is trying to eat the bushes by the front entrance. Inside we are trying to get Laynie on the scale while poor Caiden is in tears because his allergies are bothering him so much. I head Caiden off to the bathroom while putting Laynie up on the scale. She now weighs 28 lbs (a 14 lb weight gain from 4 weeks ago). At this point, Zeb, the other kids and Lucy finally make their way into the door. Lucy and Laynie start wrestling and tangle each other up in their leashes. My kids are all shouting commands to the dogs ("sit, stay, Lucy!! Laynie!!). The well-behaved dogs are not listening at all. We get Lucy up on the scale (27.5 lbs-a 12 lb weight gain in 4 weeks), our name gets called and Laynie pees on the floor. Keep in mind this is all within 5 minutes of us being there. I have a feeling our vet's office is so efficient because they want people like us to get the heck out of there as fast as we can!

Anyway, not only have we paid for the dogs, dog beds, leashes, collars, dog toys, dog food and several vet visits. Now my vet tells me the dogs are looking a little overweight and maybe I should purchase a special dog dish with curved insides so that it derails them from eating too fast. Are we kidding? Do you mean I'm NOT supposed to be filling the dog dish and throwing it from the door out into the backyard? I don't know why I was so insulted when she said the dogs were chubby, but I was. I try to defend myself and tell her the dogs are VERY active out in the backyard. At which point Laynie lays herself down on the floor and falls asleep. As we leave the office I notice that Blakeleigh has ripped out several pages of a magazine, Brenton has bonked his head on the exam table numerous times, Caiden is still crying because at this point his eyes are almost swollen shut and Cooper is using his famous "inside voice" (shouting to the rest of the world). You know, we Delps like to do things as a family and create a show wherever we go. Rest assured, the dogs are now on a diet and I think they are angry. Oh, and the vet also said Laynie is coming down with a skin infection and we should give her a bath more often. Maybe I'll just put the dogs and the kids in the shower together and call it a day!